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Wise Cracks?

TOPIC 1 Jayus “From Indonesian, meaning a joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh”.

Dad was known for his liking of bad jokes, as far as he was concerned the cheesier the better. Christmas dinner was the best time of year for these jokes. Imagine going back in time to a UK 1970’s Christmas dinner. There is a family of four sat at a six person rectangular table. Mum and Dad at opposite ends of the table sitting on Mum’s right was her son, next to him her daughter. At the side of each plate was a colourfully wrapped cylindrical tube with twisted ends, these were the Christmas Crackers.

As was tradition in this family Dad was the one to start, holding one side of his cracker he gave the other side to his daughter. They pulled each end to a small popping sound with Dad winning as he had the larger part of the cracker in his hand. He tipped out the contents onto the table and found he had a purple paper hat in the shape of a crown, a toy plastic moustache and a piece of paper on which was a joke. He put paper crown on his head and put the joke to one side to be read when everyone had pulled their crackers.

Next, Mum and son pulled her cracker, her son won much to his delight which lessened when he found that his toy was a neon orange girl’s toy ring. At 9 years of age he wanted nothing to do with girl’s toys and then he put on his green paper crown.

Christmas dinner was the only time that the daughter was allowed to lean over the table as she pulled her cracker with her Mum. Daughter won and smilingly put on her yellow crown, yellow was her favourite colour, her toy was a tiny plastic whistle much envied by her brother.

Finally son leaned across the table with his cracker to pull with Dad. Dad for the second time won this mini tug of war. He got up from the table and walked around to his wife. He handed her the cracker with the contents intact. She emptied her cracker and found a joke, a red crown which she put on and a miniature pack of playing cards.

After this the joke reading started with the youngest first.
This was the son whose joke said “What do you get if you eat tinsel?”
“I don’t know what do you get if you eat tinsel”. Dad asked.
Dad gave a loud pleasurable laugh, the rest of the family let out a sound which was a mixture of a groan and a laugh.

Next was daughter who read “who hides in a bakery?” to which the answer was a mince spy. Dad’s laughter got louder.

After this Mum read her joke “What famous playwright is afraid of Christmas?" She answered Noel Coward. Dad’s shoulders stared to shake at this he told us it was the best joke so far.

Finally Dad read his joke, which he could hardly read for laughing. “What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson". At this point he let out a loud belly laugh rocking the table so much that Mum had to warn him not to upset the drink glasses.

They then toasted each other and started to eat their Christmas dinner.


( 38 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 18th, 2014 01:24 am (UTC)
I've always wondered exactly how that Christmas cracker tradition worked, since we don't have it in the U.S.

Those are some really terrible jokes, but they sure seemed to make your Dad happy!
Mar. 29th, 2014 08:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks, not all families break their crackers in a disciplined way. But it was the tradition in our family.
Mar. 18th, 2014 02:35 am (UTC)
I love the jokes that come with crackers! We all read ours as well.
Mar. 29th, 2014 08:50 pm (UTC)
I'm glad other families keep up this tradition.
Mar. 18th, 2014 02:49 am (UTC)
Thanks for this charming glimpse into your family's Christmas traditions. Your dad sounds like quite a character. I can't quite imagine laughing so hard at such jokes! :)
Mar. 29th, 2014 08:57 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it. Dad was known throughout the wider family for his love of cheesy jokes.
Mar. 18th, 2014 02:50 am (UTC)
What a memory! It sounds like your dad was quite a character.
Mar. 29th, 2014 08:53 pm (UTC)
Thanks, He was a character and Christmas was one of his most favourite times.
Mar. 18th, 2014 02:53 am (UTC)
Well done.. I used to *HATE* those stupid crackers!
Mar. 29th, 2014 08:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks I'm glad you liked it.
Mar. 18th, 2014 04:39 am (UTC)
I really enjoyed reading this. What a great window into a cute tradition. Well done!
Mar. 29th, 2014 08:59 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed reading this story.
Mar. 18th, 2014 12:04 pm (UTC)
This was kinda cute...:)..liked the jokes..could help but laugh at those..:D
Mar. 29th, 2014 09:01 pm (UTC)
Thanks for commenting, yes somehow ,you do find yourself laughing at these kind of jokes.
Mar. 18th, 2014 07:42 pm (UTC)
This entry made me smile. What a nice Christmas memory.
Mar. 29th, 2014 09:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks for commenting and I'm glad it made you smile.
Mar. 19th, 2014 12:17 am (UTC)
Cute jokes, and it was fun to learn how the Crackers work!
Mar. 29th, 2014 09:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your comment.
Mar. 19th, 2014 07:57 am (UTC)
Haven't done Christmas crackers but once since my dad died - 40 years ago. My kids didn't get into them. Loved your story
Mar. 29th, 2014 09:11 pm (UTC)
Thanks for commenting.
Mar. 19th, 2014 06:08 pm (UTC)
I'm in the US, but I've had Christmas Crackers, or something very much like them. They're lots of fun! :D
Mar. 29th, 2014 09:12 pm (UTC)
Yes crackers are a lot of fun. We still pull them at Christmas dinner.
Mar. 19th, 2014 09:09 pm (UTC)
Now I understand Christmas crackers! And I loved the jokes!
Mar. 29th, 2014 09:14 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you liked the jokes.
Mar. 20th, 2014 01:16 am (UTC)
The jokes are really cute. :)
Mar. 29th, 2014 09:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your comment.
Mar. 20th, 2014 01:43 am (UTC)
Sounds like fun!
Mar. 29th, 2014 09:16 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your comment.
Mar. 30th, 2014 07:26 pm (UTC)
You're welcome.
Mar. 20th, 2014 02:06 am (UTC)
Very nice. Living in the US I never knew much about Christmas crackers.
Mar. 29th, 2014 09:18 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your comment and I'm glad you liked my story.
Mar. 20th, 2014 02:35 am (UTC)
I'm always wondering who writes the jokes for the Christmas crackers.
Mar. 29th, 2014 09:22 pm (UTC)
I've always wondered the same thing. A few years ago I saw a vacancy in a Jobcentre for a Christmas cracker joke writer.
Mar. 30th, 2014 06:20 am (UTC)
Sounds like an interesting part-time job. And you can even be lousy. Maybe if I find on I'll take it. :)
Mar. 20th, 2014 05:21 pm (UTC)
What a sweet holiday - I love crackers :)
Mar. 29th, 2014 09:24 pm (UTC)
Thanks for commenting.
Mar. 25th, 2014 08:27 pm (UTC)
What a sweet family scene! The family that laughs together... well, has a great time, right?
Mar. 29th, 2014 09:25 pm (UTC)
Thanks. Yes we always had a great time with plenty of laughter.
( 38 comments — Leave a comment )



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